A Humbling Reminder

I was humbled today (looking at the time, it was really yesterday). I was humbled by the fact that as much as I love God and long to share with Him my hopes and fears, desires and struggles, I am so reluctant to do so. In fact, I find it easier and sometimes a bit more natural to look to me, to make the way, to determine the answer all on my own with no regards to it's consequences for my soul, my family, or other relationships.

There are some stressors in my life right now that I am struggling with. I long for the day when they are a thing of the past. But right now, they are standing me straight up, looking me in the eye, and daring me to crumble. In my defiance and pride, I have decided (for the most part) to stand up for myself. By myself. Me and my will against the aggressor! I will overcome! But as I choose to live this way, I find myself getting weary. I am tired and frustrated as the stress closes in harder and faster.

And then the cold water hit me square in the face today. While I (and I do mean I - even though others were present) was thinking of how I was going to win this battle and I was going to deliver the goods, a friend of the family said, "Why don't we pray?"

Whoa - that water's cold!

And there it was...the humbling reminder that God was there, calling me over to share my struggle and give me wisdom. Us and Him. We and together. And so as the day moved on, I found myself coming to Jesus, finding rest, and gaining wisdom and peace that humbles me.