Life In The Fast Lane

I am officially entering into the fast lane of my time here at the University of Dayton. The first year of my Masters of Education - School Counseling program is pretty much all course work. That is pretty easy to hammer out given my/our family's season of life (two small kids, wife working full-time, me working 20-25 hrs a week, etc.).

Now, however, things are starting to crank up a notch or two in regards to speed and stress. This fall I am taking my practicum class which requires me to be in a school setting for 100 hours of work with students and counselors. That means more schedule juggling, heftier ask on time commitment from my mom for helping with the kids, deeper level of guilt for what this transition is asking of my family, all the while, knocking out the class work, maintaining good grades, learning as much as I can, and working with DECA and Far Hills.

I was reminded of the great truth, promise, and, at some level, mystery of how God wants to make his strength perfect in my weakness. How that when I am at my lowest, neediest, most broken, God shows up and does his greatest work in and through me. It's scary to acknowledge those great personal "cracks", but at the same time, there is something very freeing about living by faith knowing God is who he says he is and will do what he says he will do. By stating the obvious need for God's grace and power (to God and probably those closest to me), I jump start the process of me getting out of my own way.

For when I don't acknowledge my obvious need, I impede God's ability to make perfect his strength in my ultimate weakness. In essence what I communicate to him and those around me is that I can do this. I have it all together. I don't need your help. I am without weakness.

And so because of his love for me, my feeble attempt at loving him, and an utter desperation that I CANNOT do this on my own, I choose his way and do my best to live full of faith knowing that God will show up and do his thing/work/shaping/wrecking/and ultimately, loving.