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Monday, February 16, 2009

God's 25 Random Things List

There is this craze that has swept Facebook that has you write down 25 random things about yourself. It has slowed down a bit. Here is mine. The genius writers at The Wittenburg Door have put God's random things on a list...very funny!

1. Jeez, I never thought this "25 Random Things" deal would get so big when I first started circulating it.

2. Why's that airline pilot getting all my glory? After all, I put the Hudson river there.

3. I love getting up in the morning to watch the universe rise.

4. My Addictions: Coffee, "Lost," ultra-marathons (40 years is my limit), my crackberry, wreaking vengeance.

5. TODAY'S TO DO LIST: Start interfaith dialogue (always forgetting this), clean up environment, take out that terrorist training camp at 34 degrees 33'56.80 N 73 degrees 56'31.25 E.

6. I'm really sorry I took a short vacation--just a long weekend, really-- and caused that world financial crisis. Last time I took a vacation I came back and found Bush had stolen the election. Darn! But don't I deserve some time off?

7. Found out this week the music of the spheres is in the wrong format to load on my iPhone. Wouldn't you know it?

8. And yes, I have both a Blackberry and an iPhone. Are you really surprised?

9. My secret fear is that my solution to the problem of evil won't stand up to peer review.

10. I miss the Neanderthals.

11. Prosperity preachers may be surprised that I spend most of my time talking to chaiwalla slumdogs.

12. Don't worry, I'm planning to explain everything on the 400th anniversary of Darwin's birth.

13. Using the Sumerian numerical system, shouldn't I be through now?

14. I'm still a little nervous about that Large Hadron Collider.

15. Can someone please tell me where I left the Ark of the Covenant?

16. Lately I've been stitching together random DNA strings. Started out as a bracelet, but who knows what I'll end up with.

17. Sometimes I flash on being a sunflower and imagine I'm looking at myself.

18. I've been tinkering around with a new moral code. Here's an example: You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours... until you beg for mercy. (Hey, it's just a draft version).

19. What if I were the god of a universe that was really tiny and inside a much bigger macro-universe, controlled by a much bigger god? And what if that god were me, too? This is the kind of thing I think about just before I go back to sleep.

20. I'm tired of this. So I'm reversing the arrow of time, recalling all the world's "Random Things" postings, renaming them "20 Random Things" and chopping off the last five items to conform to what is now my new template. You'll never know the difference. (Most people don't realize it, but I do this sort of thing all the time).

(bu to The Wittenburg Door Magazine)

1 comment:

Matt and Toni Rings said...

That is about the funniest thing I've read in a month!


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