God Doesn't Care

That's right. God doesn't care. I've come to that grey realization over the last few months. Now, before you go bonkers and think I've chucked my faith, let me explain myself.

I am huge believer in the truth that God cares for me. I see it throughout my life, the life of others, history, and the Scriptures. Heck, Peter himself comes right out and states, "Cast all your anxiety on him (God) because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7. I've read it. I've heard it. I've experienced it. I've seen that same reality in so many other's lives. God cares for me by loving me, dying for me, disciplining me, providing for me, using me, and simply being near me.

But what I think God doesn't care about is what I do with my life. Oh, I believe that God cares that I live a life of worship, mission, love, justice, hope, and faith. Again, time after time (cue Cindi Lauper tune here) throughout Scripture, in the lives of people, and in my own experience, God shares with the world and His people how longs for us to live out these and other Kingdom values. But as it specifically relates to me, right here and right now (cue Van Halen song), I don't believe God cares if I do ministry in a church or in the marketplace.

I'm coming to grips with the fact that maybe God simply called me to work with kids whether that be in the Church, school, or some other organizational institution. Maybe the context isn't the issue (one that has been a hangup for me b/c of my deep love for the Church) so much as the content with which I work - kids. That is hard to deal with as I've shared before. But this is now the leading I follow: to pursue helping and loving kids in the educational arena. Though I may find myself someday back in the lives of kids and families in a church setting, right now God doesn't care. What he cares about is me making wise choices that are motivated by love with the purpose of serving others all for His glory.

Jesus,

Thanks for not "caring". Thanks for the space and wiggle room in this grey area to follow you and be me. I'm glad you are in it with me. Where would I be without you here? You have provided a wonderful a wonderful wife, some seriously great family and friends, and your gracious and insightful Holy Spirit to push and pull me through some unclear times. You are simply beautiful and incredible. I want to worship you with my life.

Amen