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Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Finger of Christmas

So Parker and I were out this morning shopping for Sarah. The kids get each other a few dollars worth of fun knickknacks and toys at the Dollar Tree. We had a blast: sword fighting, looking at dolls, tossing squishy balls at each other, finding princesses, playing a trumpet, and deciding on Disney stuff. We then wandered through the pet store gazing at geckos, fiddling with fish, and playing with puppy mill Boston terriers. While we were checking out all the animals, Parker asked if we could go to Target to look at "boy" toys. Obviously the purchasing of thoroughly "girly" stuff needed to be counter balanced with some testosterone injected window shopping to get the cooties off of us.

As we drove into the parking lot, I commented that it was a zoo: lots of cars and lots of traffic. We gave up a close spot so that an older couple could park closer to the store. No big deal. We then proceeded to bob-and-weave our way into the store through the traffic and carts. Parker loved the adventure!

Then as we were walking into the store, I noticed there was this women walking in behind us that was particularly antsy about getting in. No big deal. She pealed off to grab cart. We'll the front of the store was a mad house and making your way through that with a 3.5 year old is a bit of a challenge. He loves taking in the sights and pointing out the cool stuff. It's a bit of a slow process. I tried getting us to the edges of the people flow, but we were hemmed in on either side by returns and people exiting the store.

Just then the antsy lady was back in the picture. She was trying to make her way through this narrow section of traffic like a NASCAR driver through a pile up. As she was doing this she almost took out Parker with her cart. This is conversation that followed:

Me: What is your deal, lady?
Antsy: You are in the way!
Me: Where do you want me to go?
Antsy: You could get out of the the side!
Me: I've got a three year old in my hand! You need to chill!
Antsy (as she pulls away): I've got kids, too! (not with her mind you)
Me (not be very Jesus like and adding fuel to the fire): Well, slow down. It's not about you. It's about the kids (like I was working for the Salvation Army)!
Antsy: Without looking back, she threw the international symbol for "Happy Holidays", "Merry Christmas", and "F. U. Fellow shopper" - her middle finger - over her shoulder.
Me: You are so awesome! Now that's the spirit of Christmas! Thanks! Merry Christmas to you, too!

It was not pretty. But what is it about peace, joy, and get the F@#k outta my way that says, "Man, I love this time of year"? I don't know. I'll be the first to admit I wasn't "spot on" in my response. But seriously people...chill out and get your shopping done in September!

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